Easter Sunday Constitutional

I took a nice long walk right after lunch today to enjoy the gorgeous weather and get some shots of the spring blooms. I also took some photos of more public art for a new post to be titled More Neighborhood Art, after I finish this one.

First up, cherry blossoms on the plaza in front of my officetel:


In the little MaeHwa Park next door, some fuschia azaleas are starting to bloom, and some little white flowers, too:




The park also has a shady pavilion and several stone tables for playing Janggi 장기, or Korean chess:


I'm not sure what kind of tree the next one is, but it has big fleshy blooms, like a magnolia. Below it is a cherry in full bloom:



A lone camelia bush in bloom, in the apartment complex next door:




Following are pictures of two trees next to each other that I feel pretty sure are some kind of magnolia, at least the white one. Stunning blooms the size of my hand.





One of my worries in coming to Korea was that living in a great big city like Seoul, I would miss out on the greenery and colors of nature I took for granted living in the countryside back home. I have been pleased to see that the city planners, apartment designers, etc, paid attention to the green spaces that so enhance quality of life.

Baseball Saturday

The weather in Seoul has been stunning all weekend. Yesterday, I went out to a ballgame--Jamshil again--with Nick, Andy and Andy's new squeeze, Jisun. They wore matching Doosan team jersies; Korean couples often match like this, and I for one think it's not particularly cute, present company excepted, of course ...


Here's a pair of shots that are even cuter, of the Doosan cheerleaders doing a dance:



In the row in front of us (we were on the second row near the left field foul pole) were three little bundles of energy too small to see over the half-wall; despite that, they had no trouble watching the game:


The game itself pitted LG Twins against the Bears, and the teams share the stadium--when they play each other, they alternate home and visitor. Friday night, LG won on the strength of 3 homers including a grand salami by a Westerner named Fettucini (his kid brother, Linguini, can also be found on home plate). In Saturday's game, Doosan had a 6 run 4th inning and took the game by a 9 to 5 margin.

Then it was time for samgyupsal in Seoulldae. Once again, I stayed one tick too long and got stranded by the subway at Sindorim, and had to catch a taxi the rest of the way. I stopped in at E-Mart, since that's where the taxi always drops me off, to get some OJ for the morning, and for some reason I picked up a bottle of Kalhua as well. So I'll have some really tasty coffee for afters tonight.

A Victory for 'Democracy'

In a stunning victory for democracy everywhere, 'Dear Leader' Kim Jung-il of the Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea has been re-elected to serve as Chairman of the National Defense Commission of DPRK for his fourth term. According to his nation's Constitution, revamped in 1998 to afford the position supreme military and political power, there is no limit to the number of times Kim can serve in the position, just as there is no limit to the joy of the people of North Korea upon hearing the news.

"Joy", as the more sophisticated reader will know, is a relative thing. For instance, there is the joy of welcoming one's child into the world--a feeling of pride, humility and connection to the human race, of making a contribution that will last after you are gone. There is the joy you feel when your team overcomes the odds to experience an undefeated season. Then there is the joy of making it through another day without starving to death, or being cruelly imprisoned in a re-education camp at the whim of a capricious dictator--this, I think, is the joy most common to the 23 million souls who, through an unfortunate accident of birth, are prey to the 'Dear Leader'.

Not to get too political, but I do just want to mention Senator McCain's comments today in Tokyo: "I believe there is no more compelling argument for missile defense capability than what just happened with the North Korean launch."

He is apparently worried that the Pacific Ocean is just not up to the task of swallowing many more failed missile launches from Musudan-ri. See, I think there are much more compelling arguments for missile defense capability. Say, Russia, India, Pakistan, even Israel, who with just the right amount of provocation could unleash a bomb or two on a selected enemy.

I just don't think that enemy would be the US. So the defense capability that McCain refers to is pretty much moot--'Course, you can make that point about anything any Republican says nowadays.

Notice in my list, I did not put China, which has nuclear weapons. And whose system of government appears antithetical to our own. But, you see, thanks to US diplomacy as far back as Richard M. Nixon, China has slowly shuffled off its paranoid Bamboo Curtainry and entered the fray of First World membership. Does China remain a repressive regime?--yes: political prisoners held without recourse, TB has to use illegal proxies to get YouTube these days, etc. Will it bomb the US?--not a chance: it has too much to lose.

If the people of North Korea are very much like their kin in the South, they are aching for a chance to use their industriousness and intelligence to make a better life for themselves. As South Korea has done--in spades! Somewhere in between the China story and the North Korea story, we can find the South Korea story--yes, there was military dictatorship, but it was balanced by Western influence; yes, there was extreme rural poverty, but it was countered by the dynamism of a capitalistic Seoul; yes, there was (is) xenophobia, but it was (is) overridden by partnership in the OECD and the onslaught of foreign trade.

Diplomacy, more than defensive missile systems, will scratch the itch caused by Mr Kim, as history has shown us. And who knows, maybe someday soon, DPRK will have a democratic election in which the leader chosen is not 'Great' or 'Dear', but Real.

Yeouido Cherry Blossom Festival

UPDATE: To see my post about the 2010 Cherry Blossom Festival, click here.

The Japanese have been giving cherry trees to other countries, it seems, for a hundred years. A few thousand line the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC, and about 1400 can be found lining Yunjungno, an avenue near the National Assembly building on Yeouido in Seoul.


Above is a photo of the lovely Hwang family at the entrance to the avenue, taken this evening during a visit to the Cherry Blossom Festival. In addition to the cherry trees, the festival consists of an installation of art from around the world, apparently on a 'branches and flowers' theme. There is also a slate of performances each day. The walk to Yunjungno from the subway was crowded with people and, of course, street vendors and their pojangmacha. The guy below is selling silkworm larva. Notice that they appear to be erupting--more lava than larva.




There was a lot of art; below are a few samples:






This was my favorite piece, bunches of flowers wearing blue jeans. The next photo shows Mrs. Hwang talking to the artist, but no one could really translate for me what the work seemed to be about:



There was a sketch artist doing portraits:


And there was this huge ox seemingly made out of moss (of course, I'm not really touching it):


And finally, there were cherry blossoms. They were striking at night, but hard to really capture in the camera, so perhaps I shall return to take some shots in the daytime. The festival lasts until April 18.

Tuttle News Wrap

1) I tucked my heavier coats into a suitcase under the stairs, based on the observation that today's temperature reached about 72 F. I bought a light spring-type coat a few weeks ago, but if it stays warm like this, I will hardly use it.

2) The lesson plans are going swimmingly, but for some reason they have been very tiring this week. Mind you, first period Tuesday, the cellphone conversation thing, the kids spent their conversation time goofing off, and the co-teacher sat at the back reading a book.

I made it clear to both that this was not acceptable, and I would see a different pattern of behavior next week, or they would see a very different me! I don't actually lose my temper anymore, but I can act like it pretty well. Stay tuned.

3) That was Tuesday. For lunch, delightful older Mr Lee asked me to accompany him to lunch off-campus and eat 갈비탕 galbi-tang, or (beef) short rib soup. I had not eaten this before, but it certainly goes on my list! The restaurant was named 마당집 mah dang jib, which means courtyard house. Several tables were in a pretty, old-fashioned courtyard, and there were also several private rooms inside. Mr Lee told me this is a popular spot for dinner among Young-il teachers who have to work the late shift supervising the study rooms. Sorry, no pictures, as it was kind of ad hoc.

4) The native teacher blogosphere is up in arms about an opinion piece in yesterday's Korea Times titled "Korea's English Pandemic" bemoaning both the state of Korean English education and the influx of low-quality pasty-faced native speakers.

Frankly, it is a quandary to me how this even got published. The author is Jessica Kim, who hates English education so much she uses an English name and goes to school at the University of Virginia. Sounds to me like a case of I got mine, you can't have yours. You hear the same thing in America, from the anti-immigration people. She claims:

Recently, a lot of people have been calling me and emailing me, to the point where I just had to shut down my phone. Some even identify themselves as a friend of a friend of a friend of mine. That's a long social chain.
These random "friends" who don't have a job or got fired recently have been trying to get in touch with me to ask me about teaching English in Korea.

Puh-leeze. She shut down her phone, there were so many calls? She continues:

Sadly, I do not have a solution and my intention was only to point out my observation of today's society. I do not know if anyone will ever have a solution. Is it even possible?

Gosh, thanks for that. But most egregiously, and without a shred of evidence, she ends with a comment that the influx of native teachers "leads to many indirect social problems that we have in Korea right now." Though she may mean it indirectly leads to the problems, either way, it is malarkey. Shame on you, Jessica (if that is your real name), for writing such hate-filled twaddle, and shame on you, Korea Times, for publishing it!

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust That Day

날씨가 좋아요 Nashiga choh-ayo, the weather is good.

Today was really the first gorgeous day of Spring here in Seoul. The temp. started in the upper forties and warmed to about 62 F, the sun shone brightly and there was just a hint of a breeze.

Of course, we knew it was Spring once baseball started on Saturday! Speaking of which, Andrew has added to the Opening Day narrative with further adventures of the gang once your humble narrator took the subway home in what increasingly looks like the nick of time: Doosan Rules!

The week's new lessons have begun, as they will do on Monday, but I'm not sure I want to talk about it yet. Well, okay. In the first grade, I stole the "Making Plans" lesson, lock, stock and barrell from BogglesworldESL. Why reinvent the wheel? I keep asking myself.

The second grade lesson plan, which mainly involved listening to love songs, was something of a disaster--note to self: as much as they hate it, each lesson must force the students to actually speak some English, not just write it down. Modifications as yet undetermined will be in force tomorrow. Paul McCartney's "Silly Love Songs" may just have to go, in order to make room.

On the subject of "silly", the (North) Korean Central News Agency reported complete success in the launch of a satellite-payload missile this weekend, though virtually every international observer notes the rocket and its load fell into the Pacific Ocean about two thoussand miles from launch. The phantom satellite is now beaming patriotic songs from space directly into Kim Jung-il's phantom brain. If Bush lived in a bubble, this guy lives in a pig's bladder. Or something.

TB always tells me that states are "rational actors", which is a term of art in poli-sci circles, meaning that ruling groups or persons tailor their actions to perpetuate their ruler status. Dear Leader, as he must be called in DPRK, is distinctly not rational, and the regime can only be nourished by its cannibalistic propaganda for so long--soon, it will devour itself and the "3rd worst" dictatorship will crumble.

In one of the great ironies of the modern political stage, the South has a kind of perverse interest in the North's perpetuation, as the sudden influx of 30 million starving souls could well wreak havok on a small if comfortable market economy in a troubled global metier. It would be interesting to watch, were it not for the dead bodies piling up under Dear Leader's feet ...

Opening Day

I joined a group of my fellow expats--Andy, Eric and Nick (all of whom have been mentioned before)--for an afternoon at Jamshil Baseball Stadium as the Doosan Bears hosted the KIA Tigers from Gwang-ju in the season opener.

Despite being Doosan fans, we were only able to get tickets on the KIA side. And lemme tell ya, those folks are just as rabid in their fandom as Bears fans! If you examine the photo below, you can see the KIA cheerleaders on the platform over the third base line--there are only four of them, and their movements are simplified in comparison to a cheer squad in the US.



The Tigers roared off to a 1 - 0 lead in the top of the first, but Doosan evened it in the bottom half. The next two innings went three up-three down. The Bears had a big fifth inning, scoring five runs on three base-clearing doubles with two out before the Tigers slowly clawed their way back into the game with hard-earned runs in the sixth and seventh. These KIA fans take the game seriously!


As the last couple of innings passed, and Kia brought on a sidewinder, Doosan added an insurance run to make the final score 7 - 5.

Shall-We-Play-A-Game-?

"Launch by North Korea"

The U.S. Embassy in Seoul is transmitting the following information through the Embassy's warden system as a public service to all U.S. citizens in the Republic of Korea. Please disseminate this message to U.S. citizens in your organizations or to other Americans you know.

North Korea has announced that it will attempt a rocket launch between 11:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. on one of the days during April 4-8, 2009, from a site in northeast North Korea. This possible event has received much media attention. At this time, the U.S. Embassy in Seoul sees no potential danger to American citizens in South Korea as a result of the possible launch and does not believe that any special actions are warranted by American citizens other than to pay close attention to local news reports during this time period.

The Embassy is monitoring the situation very closely. We will apprise the American citizen community of any important information via this email system and the Embassy websites at http://seoul.usembassy.gov and www.asktheconsul.org.

So far, this is the first such message I've gotten from the Embassy-bot. Usually, there is a monthly mailer, which I previously blogged here.

Chris in South Korea is making odds on various potential outcomes of the planned missile test/satellite launch, including this one: "That the rocket will self-destruct, blow itself up, fall harmlessly into the ocean, or otherwise not reach whatever target it's aiming for: 3:1" I'm not a betting man (well, other than the horses) but if I were, I'd take that action!

The New York Times has a reasonably good summary of DPRK's brinksmanship in today's editions, including this salient graph:

Whenever it failed to get concessions in negotiations or there were changes of governments abroad, the North raised tensions, wangling an invitation to talks and extracting fresh aid while never giving up its trump card, its nuclear weapons program.

Then there's this from the top headline story in today's Korea Times: "The unification ministry asked civic organizations which have plans to travel to the North to postpone their schedule. 'We will take measures necessary for the security of South Koreans,' ministry spokeswoman Lee Jong-joo told reporters. `We advise them to deeply re-consider their visit to the North.'" Uh, how about 'advising' North Korea to quit playing games?

Cellphone Survey

A couple of notes about class this week:

1) The cellphone lesson went quite well, except for the tendency of students to swap papers and write in their responses on the survey form, instead of verbally asking and answering. That is how resistant to speaking English many of them are.

2) The most interesting student-generated questions:
* Has a teacher ever taken away your cellphone in class?
* How many self-pics are on your phone? [No mention of sexting--yet.]
* How many girls' phone numbers do you have?

3) The most interesting answers:
* Text messages per day: several answers I saw were "over 100"!
* Have your parents ever taken away your phone as punishment? "Of course."

Bonus Photograph: Elvis has left the building. That explains why he's outside. This is at the Indus bar in my neighborhood. A kindly passerby snapped it on my cellphone camera. So is that a "self-pic"?

Soccer Made in Sangam

One of the reasons I didn't want to go to the phantom co-teacher training session was because that would make it impossible to attend the DPRK vs ROK soccer match taking place at Seoul World Cup Stadium tonight in Sangam, right across the river.

Soccer here in Korea is far more popular on TV than it is in the stadium, so I was sure I could get tickets near game time, and therefore didn't book any. What this meant was that I had no overweening reason to fight attending the training session, but also none to attend the match--what, me, waste 15 bucks?

I found out yesterday from Miss Lee that I was, in fact, NOT expected to attend the training session, even though I had gotten an email describing it as practically mandatory--are you confused? I am--but by the end of the day today I had done the same lesson (more on that in a later post) three times with Mr Lee Gum-cheon, so I felt a bit buzz-tired.

I decided not to go and watch the game. Therefore, I timed my visit to the gym so I could watch the first half on the treadmill and the stationary bike after completing 14 km on the elliptical--with a target time of 36 min., which I met. I find it harder to watch the TVs when on the elliptical. My plan was to use the muscle relaxer thing--it's quite loud--at halftime, so as not to annoy people. Yes, I'm polite like that.

Actually, not so much, really, but as the sole pink-skinned person these folks are likely to know, I sometimes feel the need to set a good example. I wipe my sweat off the equipment, even if they don't ...

I've only used it twice, but I gotta say that for anyone who wants to push himself in cardio exercises, loading an mp3 player with driving tunes and fast rhythmic beat songs then playing it on shuffle, is a good way to go. What you want is 120 beats per minute. Of course, you can get more elaborate, with playlists and interval training and so on, but I'm not there yet.

Well--I got one crucial fact wrong in this equation, which might have changed everything: the match began at 8:00 pm local time, not 7:00! I could definitely have gotten there, even after a workout in the fitness center. The stadium is three stops away once I get to Hapjeong:


And I really regret missing it in person, because it was an awesome game. At least for South Korea fans. It has been kind of a quandary that the North has managed to tie the South in their last FOUR consecutive meetings, in both World Cup qualifying and Asian Cup competition. I blogged their last meeting here.

No question, they are both strong teams compared to the likes of UAE, Bahrain or Qatar, but in watching three of those draws, I have been dissatisfied by the results--Tehan Minguk (the South) is the better team. From individual ball skills to concerted team movement to speed, desire and creativity, the North has been totally outclassed in every game.

It looked like the same result was in the offing tonight, when I made my way to the Cooper hof for some smoked chicken to accompany the soccer. Though ROK dominated the game in every sense, from corner kicks to shots to time of possession (80% to 20%), a nil tie looked probable.

The Reds kept up their pressure, however, and with two minutes left, scored on a free kick from about 30 yards. A defender actually put a hand on the ball, but that only redirected it after the keeper had committed.

I have mentioned before my Big Five theory, so I will only point out that this result is yet another data point in its favor. My friends at Cooper hof--well, they're not friends beyond the association we draw when rooting for the same team in the same place--all did the ol' "gambe" toast with me upon the conclusion of the match. It is understood that this means ROK will make its way to the round of 32 in South Africa 2010.

The title of this post comes from a TV series on PBS in the 70s titled "Soccer Made in Germany" hosted by Toby Charles. He would show significant segments of a match from the Bundesliga narrating it in his inimitable prose, using an hour-long show to cover a 90 minute match plus highlights and scores from around the league. Sangam is the location of Seoul World Cup Stadium.

Very early on in my acquaintance with the "internets" I searched for Toby Charles, and at that time I only found two references. If you look today, you will find thousands, as the online community of soccer fans has established itself. Go ahead, put his name into Google and see how many hits come up--more than two, I betcha!

Mr Charles was for many Americans of that time the bridge from the weak NASL to the "beautiful game" as seen in the highlights from Germany. But mainly, he was so colorful! A florid description of an attack; a shaming--with names--of defenders who let in a goal; memorable catchphrases: They'll be talking about that one in the pubs tonight, or Does he have the nerve?

Tuttle News Update

1) Both lesson plans went really well on Day 1--so they are definitely worth stealing from me. The true test is the afternoon classes on Tuesday, but I have high hopes.

2) I downloaded some tunes and put them on the mp3 player, and took it to the fitness center. Really good move, I'm pleased to say--the session just flew by! Still awaiting playlist suggestions ...

3) Those of us in SMOE Team 3 got an email from our team leader at 2:14 pm today informing us that we have a co-teacher training session on Wed., from 3 to 6 pm. Consider it mandatory. Hard to figure how you do that when you've only given 48 hrs and 46 min. of prior notice. This is a classic example of the way things are done in the Seoul educational system.

Now I already knew about this, because my co-teacher told me on Thursday or so. It was, I'm sure, my email to David M for confirmation--since neither I nor any of my cohorts had heard anything--that prompted his announcement.

But, most annoyingly, this is after the native teacher group complained loudly at the previous one of these junkets about how poorly notification was handled.

4) So, there's this weird kid who I don't even teach since he is in the math/science stream in second grade (but I remember him from winter camp) who has been hanging around my office at the end of lunch time, wanting to talk to me. Now, I got nuthin' agin somebody what wants to better hisself, but this kid sits in the unoccupied chair opposite my desk and asks me a lot of intrusive questions. And doesn't take a hint. Hint, hell, he hardly even takes a direct command.

Today he brought in a script he had written out for us to read together, rather ungrammatical (but as I say, I don't worry a lot about that, hopefully it comes in due time), but here's the weird part (okay, the really weird part): he plays a customs agent, and I play someone he suspects of trying to smuggle in cocaine.

I try to explain to him that it's insulting to suggest that just because I'm American I would play a cocaine dealer, and that furthermore, you can't smell cocaine on someone's breath.

In Part 2, yes there's a Part 2, he plays someone who uses iDoser, which is the computer age's version of alpha-wave feedback therapy momentarily popular in the early seventies. The idea was, and is, to "synchronize your brainwaves". Or in at least one case, to addle them.

Bonus Photograph: The Icaremewellbeingcafe has just opened a couple blocks away on my walk to work. The hangeul sounds out as "Ah-ee kae-aw mee".

The Coming Week

So, here I am at the chicken hof, having completed my lesson plans and done all the other things I am supposed to do.

In first grade, we will continue to focus on technology--specifically, the cellphone. We will begin by practicing some common phone phrases, then in pairs rank the features of cellphones: is a camera more important, or current weather conditions, or GPS, or texting, etc? In the final activity, students will write five GOOD questions about cellphone use, then conduct a poll of their fellow students. They will then report their results back to their table.

Somewhere in there, we will listen to the following song, whose lyrics I have transcribed into the powerpoint:


Second graders (that's HS juniors, in case you've forgotten) are continuing a unit on Western music. This week, we will turn to criticism, and examine the question of whether ART can be evaluated simply in terms of good and bad. Is a Classical conductor inherently better than a pop singer? Is representational art superior in any sense to abstract works, or to the line drawings Picasso used to capture the essence of a thing in a few strokes?


Click here to check out a cool study of Picasso's progression to this image.

Rather than giving a thumbs up or thumbs down, we try to be more subtle, using adjectives to describe our reactions to some artwork. I will play some music clips, each embedded in a slide that details the type of response I want them to write about: Rhapsody In Blue, Faint by Linkin Park, Winter from Vivaldi's Four Seasons and Bongo Bong from Manu Chao:


In other news, I finally bought an MP3 player (since I never got around to it on my trip to China); now I'm looking for music to make a couple of killer workout playlists. The whole reason I wanted one is because the continuous stream of K-Pop in the fitness center, while lively, just doesn't do it for me. And TB's proposal for looping 'Eye of the Tiger' isn't quite what I had in mind.

Suggestions are encouraged.

What's In A Name?

First grade (which in a high school means 10th year students) began a chapter titled 'Cell Phone: Blessing or Curse', about the impact of technology. I whipped up a powerpoint concerning two articles, one on computer game addiction and the other about Doug Engelbart, the inventor of the computer mouse. The mouse turned 40 in December.

He was surprised that the term 'mouse' stuck to his invention when it entered the home, since mice have an overall negative connotation. In their last activity, students are to pair up and think of new names for computer parts: CPU, the mouse, keyboard, memory and flash drive. Theoretically, they will hold their discussions in English. The co-teacher and I go around looking at their work and talking to them about it.

Some were quite good; for instance: thinker, clicker, tapper, saver and walker. Or smart box, arrow box, key box, etc. Or Einstein, genius box, calc-box for the CPU. So far, so good. I was, however, surprised by the number of students who figured that you are improving on 'mouse' by calling it a rat! Today, a couple of them even renamed it the cockroach. True, they both might scurry around on your desktop...

One smart-aleck today renamed the computer as 'sexy girl', the mouse as 'pants' and the flash drive as 'penis'. So I whipped mine out, it's about one and a half inches--my memory stick, pervs--and held it up. "Oh, it's very small," I said.

Now, embarrassment isn't necessarily at the top of my list of pedagogical tools, but here's a kid who is testing me (it's our fourth class session). He knew he was being inappropriate and hoped I might overreact, or at least blush. The ideal response: show them how silly they are being, elicit a laugh, make your point, and move on.

The First Blossoms of Spring

Na ri na ri kae na ri
Ip beh tta ta mul ko yo
Pyong ah ri tteh chong chong chong
Pom na tu ri kam ni ta.

Lily, lily, golden bell,
Pluck it, put it in your bill.
Bunch of chickies, hop, hop, hop!
Springtime outing, off they go.

The Korean children's song 'Pom Na Tur Ri' celebrates the blossoming of the kaenari, the harbinger of spring here on the peninsula. Kaenari 개나리 is also known as the sansuyu 산수유 (borrowed from Chinese, I think), and the Japanese cornel dogwood or Asiatic dogwood (Latin name Cornus officinalis).



I noticed the first blooms on Monday, walking to school with Mr Hwang and asked him what they were. He told me, and sang me the song. You can hear the tune if you go to the webpage where I found the lyrics and translation, then scroll down: www.mamalisa.com.

Here is another shot of the ones along the hill, mixed together with some purple blossoms whose name I don't know:



Further floral news comes from the little greenspace next to my officetel. The name of it is MaeHwa Park, and the maehwa, or Chinese apricot, is another signal of the arrival of spring. The first scattering of blossoms is strewn across the patch of trees in the park.



I'll post more pictures soon, once the park and the sidewalk are in full bloom.

N Korean Dictator Ranked Third Worst

The US Sunday newspaper supplement 'Parade' has named DPRK Socialist Worker's Party leader and depraved lunatic Kim Jong-Il third worst tyrant in the world, after Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe (Ed. Note: I met him once) and Sudan's Omar al-Bashir. According to an article covering the Parade story in today's Korea Times, Mr Kim's status has fallen from first to third since the previous ranking for 2007.

"Puh-leeze," began the official response from the (North) Korea Central News Agency (KCNA) in Pyongyang, "Dear Leader is way more brutal a dictator than either of those guys. In case you haven't heard, he's been sick." The communique continued:

Those foul deviants at capitalist American Parade magazine simply demoted Dear Leader Kim Jong-il as part of their campaign to besmirch our great socialist Utopia in preparation for launching a nuclear attack on the socialist wonderland of Korea. I have news for them! Kim Jong-il committed more gloriously heinous acts on anti-socialist pig-dogs in our perfect country before breakfast today than Mr Mugabe will probably manage all week. How dare they beg for food, or fail to share the Rat Carcasses of Dear Leader's Plenty with their neighbors! For this, they deserve to die!

Mugabe starves his sub-human black African socialist comrades only through inept land management, economic incompetence and political corruption. Dear Leader starves proud millions to death by bravely stepping forward and saying "Aniyo!" to the breadcrumbs, the pitiful 500,000 tons of free food offered by capitalist pig-dogs and their NGOs. You know what, Dear Leader doesn't even know what NGO stands for, and he doesn't care!

And don't even get Dear Leader Kim Jong-il started on Bashir--he's a total fraud when it comes to evil dictating! His forces maraud, maim and murder totally indiscriminately! That's no way to run a dictatorship--downtrodden, brainwashed, impoverished masses without two grains of rice to rub together do not respect that kind of thinking. They want cruel repression that makes sense!

In comparison, Dear Leader only heaps outrageous punishments on those who have done great wrong to our wonderful socialist Nirvana! For instance, if your great-grandfather once rode in an American car, or ever wondered what a hot dog might taste like, and we find out about it--you will spend your miserable, socialism-hating life in a hell-hole concentration camp that befits traitors like yourself, being re-educated until you die. Hot dogs are nasty, and don't even taste like dog.

Fear not, Sunday supplement readers, Kim Jong-il is on his way back to the top! Mainly, another year of below average rainfall is predicted, and with our heavenlily antiquated irrigation equipment falling into glorious disrepair, food production is expected to be happily far below what is needed to feed our population. We hope millions more will suffer needless starvation and death in the coming year as they volunteer to help return Dear Leader to his place as the world's number one!

Dreadlock Rasta

The second grade (who are actually high school juniors) begins a chapter on music this week, so I am going to acquaint them with the work of a certain Robert Nesta Marley, born 1945. I get to listen to top-notch reggae all week, how's them apples?

I got this plan half-baked at a conference back in December but brought it up to speed by actually putting in the music and lyrics, and focusing on the protest aspect of Marley's music--Get Up Stand Up, Buffalo Soldier. I even scrounged up some photos of Haile Selassie.

I have put in photos of my visits to the Comfort Women protests, and followed up on our "discussion" of Utopia/Dystopia by eliciting writing and speaking on the problems we face in our world and whether protest is a useful tool in finding solutions.


I'm hoping to actually spark some discussion here, since Korean culture is, um, protest-oriented. Back in the days when more-or-less benign dictators and chaebols ruled the country, marches, vigils and vigorous protests were the voice of the democratic tide. Protests in Korea led to the end of the Chun Doo-hwan era by forcing direct elections--the high visibility of those protests on the world stage thanks to the Seoul Olympics of 1988 surely didn't hurt.

So, what would you protest today, and at whom would you target your protests?

The Rumor Mill

Yesterday being Friday, my teaching day ended at 12:30, so I went home and took a nap, worked on some lesson plan ideas, etc, before going to the gym for a "moderate-to-heavy workout" of 28 km (14 each) on the elliptical trainer and the stationary bike. Add about fourteen minutes on the treadmill and a couple of water breaks before walking up seven (that's 7) flights of stairs to the third floor, that's nearly an hour and a half.

It's taken me months to get to this point, and my weight change is still marginal, but--I do actually feel better. I ran to cross the street before the light changed the other day, and I wasn't even winded! Gweon Keun-yer 권근열 (English name I gave him: Jeremy), the young guy in charge of the gym, has expressed his pleasure in my limited progress using his limited English. He notes hopefully that my face is thinner--which is often the first place weight change is visible.

Anyway, so I come upstairs and my phone (which I don't take down to the gym with me) is making the sound it makes for a missed call. I call back, and it's Mr Wright, actually Lee Sang Hyeong 이상형, following up on his invitation earlier in the week to go out drinking.

Well, I have to shower, etc, and end up meeting at 8:00 near the school at a Western hof called Adonis which has a pirate statue and a Civil War soldier statue out front. Yeah, transplant that set up to America and you have the gayest gay bar in Gay Town. Moving on ...

Pey-ga go pai-yo, I'm hungry. So's he, so we order some chicken and chat; meanwhile, some fellow Young-il teachers start to trickle in. The Research Dept has had a "meeting" nearby, so Mr Pak the assistant principal, big Mr Lee, Lee Geum-cheon and couple of other major players come in.

Very soon, they get to the point: they are disappointed to hear that I do not want to come back to Young-il next year. I ask where they heard that, since no one has even asked me.

It seems someone in the administration office has started a rumor to that effect. I made it very clear that this was untrue, that I had thought for some time on the issue and had decided that I would re-sign at Young-il if a contract was offered to me. But so far, no contract had been offered.

I explained my calculus on both sides: on the plus side, everyone at the school has been kind and supportive to me, and they take education seriously; my officetel, though small, is well-located, near the school, across the street from E-Mart, and I can't wait until line 9 opens!


On the negative side, I explained that I am often frustrated in attempting to do my job--that is, get students to speak English, whether to the whole class or just to one other person. I spend hours, I said, consulting the best sources, developing interesting lessons, often to no avail. I meet students once a week, so I have little chance to get to know them.

Anyway, I told them, with Mr Wright and Mr Lee interpreting, I will not stay in Korea for too many years, I will go home to America. My experience has kind of spoiled me, since I know from my friends I am lucky to work with such good people. Even so, I want to experience other parts of Korea outside Seoul, perhaps, or maybe someplace else in Asia, "as long as I am here". They understood.

But at least for next year, I plan to teach at Young-il, despite what they have heard from the rumor mill.